absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
