who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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