OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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