Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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