so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
