i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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