So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
