You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
