Are we in a gay sports bar?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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