You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Hippo gnu deer
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
