We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
