hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
