Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
