i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
