i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
