fuck your aforementioned shoe
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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