I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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