It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I have post one night stand depression
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