I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
