writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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