I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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