If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
