I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
