Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
