with your own penis?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
