I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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