what day is it and did you see me today?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
