come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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