How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i think i just lost a toe
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
