I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you win again, gameday.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize