recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize