either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i think my cat just said my name.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
