community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize