Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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