i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
