After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
