Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
