i may or may not be watching the land before time
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
