eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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