just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
