I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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