Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
