But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
