I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
