Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
