No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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