I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
