At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
