in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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