I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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