apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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