Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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