cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
