"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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