if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
