I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
