Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
