at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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